05/01/2012

for the last few weeks, i've been having fights with him. i have to admit, it's normal for us to fight but this time, it's gotten worse. i dont know why, but i just thought that i've tried my hardest to keep this relationship going, yet, it didnt seem to affect him in any way at all. even after i tried clearing things out, he would still put every single blame on me. it made me feel somewhat useless and eventually jump to conclusion that i'm probably, just probably, not good enough *sigh

so yesterday, we went out for while. he wanted to meet me - to talk about our relationship. it was hard, honestly. i was literally out of my mind when he started talking about his feelings and all. it's tough, you know? when you've done so much for that someone but it feels as though all the things you did means nothing to them. ugh. i have so many things going through my head, i just dont know how to put them into words.

anyway, he gave me flowers - again. it was sweet, very sweet. i'm just glad they're not real. i've had enough dead flowers hanging in my room -_-" 

truth is, yes, i do have feelings for him. but for the time being, i'm .... confused. i'm scared, i'm afraid that things will go back to the way it was. we may be joking and laughing today, but who knows what'll happen tomorrow?

thank you for the flowers ♥